The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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