He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
