we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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