Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize