my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
