That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
