Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
