in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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