Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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