I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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