Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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