HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
