frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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