It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I die, sorry about rent.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
