I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
