What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
