Porn is love you can see.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
