Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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