she looked like the bat from fern gully.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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