OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
