But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
