nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize