no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will pee on everything he values.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
