Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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