Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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