Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
