The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
