It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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