I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just blew my weed a kiss
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize