would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
