it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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