new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
