Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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