Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
