Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
