What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
