like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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