One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
