at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize