I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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