butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
