I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
