When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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