Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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