No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize