Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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