I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
