Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
