Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
