I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
