I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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