I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
