U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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