If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
