i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Found the puke drawer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
