Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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