respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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