But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
