So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
