i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
