"it" just moved
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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