Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
